W I S E Wednesday – Dealing with difficult people

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We all meet people we find difficult to get along with, at home, at work and in other social circles. They range from mild irritants to those we genuinely can’t stand. What we often dont realize is that these situations provide us both challenges and opportunities.

If you have ever been confronted with this situation, how do you/ have you handled it? Many people will be reactive, immediately responding according to their learned subconscious scripts. For example, many people get angry and attack the aggressor while others become upset and hurt and withdraw within themselves, perhaps harboring some resentment for a long time into the future.

The effective person  however, chooses to be proactive to effectively manage the existing gap :

1. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Sometimes it helps to genuinely attempt to see things from the other person’s perspective. Our differences in age, culture etc are central in how we perceive and interpret things.

2. Be the bigger person – especially when dealing with an argumentative fool. Remain respectful and indifferent, never call them names but address facts as they are.

3. Do not criticize – it only brings defensiveness. If you absolutely have to disagree with something, for example, rather put your point across as an addition, instead of dismissing what the other person has said. People will realize for themselves who is talking ludacris

4. Difficult people love to be flattered. They often have low self-esteem. And flattery is the Achilles heel for a lot of them, they thrive on flattery. You dont need to over do it, just commenting their dress is nice or genuinely acknowledging good work goes a long way.

5. Greet them – except when they always ignore you, then leave them to grow up.

6. Dont gossip – about them, in short, what you cant say in their face, never say it behind their backs.

7. Dont take things personal – if you find someone very difficult to get along with, chances are, you are not the only one. Some people just have a special talent of rubbing others the wrong way.

8. Even a broken clock is correct at least twice in a day – look for lessons, especially about yourself. Ask yourself some searching questions and try to answer honestly. Why do I react to this person in this way? Am I being sensitive about something? Am I trying to hide something? Am I protecting myself against some imaginary threat? Am I missing out on an opportunity to grow and improve? If you are religious, think of them as having some sort of beneficial purpose in your life.

9. Smile. And mean it. It can help show you have no hard feelings for someone and actually aid a bit of cooperation.

10. Listen – and listen good, in your defensiveness, you might be missing out critical conversation, and this only agitates the other person.

Good luck

(Collected from a medley of friends) Thanks guys.

Stash

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